Following the magic of their special wedding day many couples place enormous significance on the first Christmas they will spend together as man and wife. In many ways it’s a continuation of this wonderful romantic period of your lives, only on this occasion it’s extra special because you now have a shared history within which you can celebrate the solemn commitment you have made to one another. And this has extra meaning because it’s Christmas, the season of love, joy, peace and goodwill…. and of course, many presents.

So much planning, preparation and expectation goes into that first Christmas for newly married couples.  This can be an amazingly joyful time for you but one that’s sometimes strenuous, even stressful because every detail is considered. You will perhaps strive endlessly for this Christmas to be the perfect Christmas. But perhaps you will also need to be vigilant that your expectations of Christmas are not clouded by unreality in which you entertain idealistic expectations of one another.

Your first Christmas together means much more than participating in a mid-winter commercial frenzy, although the shopping experience can be most conducive to emotional oneness and relationship intimacy. But it’s important to remember that Christmas should not be measured in materialistic values alone and expectations around material goods need to be challenged. This is important because if your expectations, which perhaps you’ve never voiced to your partner, are not met then you may feel disappointed, let down and dissatisfied. This can colour and dampen the ardour of your entire Christmas experience, and in the process undermine your loving relationship.

The central message of Christmas is one of love and as a married coupleexperiencing the joy of your first Christmas together, you are uniquely placed to impart to your partner that essential message of love. That is what has brought you together; it has become the foundation stone on which your shared dreams are fashioned. Christmas is also a time of hope and optimism for the future. And just as the Christ Child brought new hope to the world over two millennia ago, you are now reliving and re-enacting that spirit of hope within the sanctity of your solemn union in marriage. Through your loving celebration of Christmas you are in essence bringing new hope to each other and to yourselves.

Christmas is that most festive time of year, a time for family and friends. It’s a special time for giving and a special time for receiving. For many couples it’s a time to revisit their former lives and reconnect with loved ones. It’s a time when old memories are rekindled and new ones created. But, similar to wedding day experiences, Christmas can quickly pass you by: it’s important that you find time, sufficient time for one another so that your first Christmas together can be one that you will treasure in your memory, and one that will sustain and enrich you in the years ahead!

Exercise:

Reflect on the most important non-material gift you would like to impart to your partner this Christmas! Now reflect on the most important non-material gift you would like to receive from your partner! Share this exercise with your partner and discuss together how best you can live out your message of love this Christmas!

ACCORD wish all couples a loving, peaceful and joyous Christmas andmay the blessings of this season enrich your married life in the year ahead!