Missing Conversations:

Never, within living memory, have so many couples had so much time to spend together. So much time to think. Time to think about how strange it is to have time… Now that the excuse of not having time to talk has gone… wondering about what to say… 

But what if we have no idea about what needs to be said? Or, if we do… what if we don’t know how – or when – to start what we think is a much-needed conversation? 

The clinical psychologist and couple therapist Dan Wile believes that:
 “...the heart of a couple relationship is saying what you need to say and feeling that it has gotten across... it is having conversations that work out. And that is what makes sharing common interests, companionship, doing things together, having sex, and raising children together enjoyable and worthwhile things to do. And that’s what can establish trust, loyalty, commitment, and love.” (Wile, 2008, 73)

There are two problems: 

People who don’t realize that they are suffering from the lack of certain types of conversation... can start acting in crazy, confused, offensive, and desperate ways when they are unable to say important things that they need to say... 

“If partners were to realize that they are deprived of conversations, they could say to themselves: ‘what is the conversation that would take care of this problem we are having (or, at least, tell us why we are having it)’ “ (Wile, 2008, 79)

COUPLES & Covid-19 CHALLENGE: 
Now that we have time to think… It will be important to identify the couple conversations I need to plan...

Ref: WILE, D. (2008) After the Honeymoon: How Conflict Can Improve Your Relationship. 2nd ed., Oakland, CA: Collaborative Couple Therapy Books p. 73 et seq,

MG (2020)