Many couples are now totally absorbed in the detailed planning and preparation for their special day. A whirlwind of goodwill and energy will, in many instances, propel them forward in unity as they negotiate the rigours of wedding planning. Along the way, each partner will comfort, uphold and encourage the other in overcoming little setbacks. This is called emotional nurturance. But sometimes in the aftermath of their special day, as couples encounter everyday life, that emotional support and comforting begins to evaporate from relationship.
Love begins for many couples with a shared willingness to listen attentively, communicate, care and comfort each other. In the early stages of relationship this wonderful skill is frequently taken for granted. But relationships are sometimes tested when partners encounter career, financial or emotional worries outside the home. That partner may arrive home low in self-esteem, tired in body and spirit and emotionally needy. If the other partner is also feeling discouraged and emotionally tired at the same time, both parties may withdraw feeling brittle and rejected in not having their needs met. Each partner may then begin to confide less in the other with the result that both will feel depleted and unappreciated. A chasm may appear in the relationship with one or other feeling that the demands and responsibilities of family life are not worth the trouble when the rewards seem so inadequate.
Within loving relationships both parties need to be conscious of being emotionally available to each other. In this manner they go out to the workplace strengthened and energised by the supportive bonds of the home environment. And most essentially, at the end of the working day, they eagerly return home to the safe, secure and supportive comforts of their partner.
It is of equal significance the person who’s engaged in the outside world should meet the emotional needs of the stay-at-home partner. If both partners work outside the home it’s important they unwind together providing a listening ear and emotional comfort to each other. Every now and then, one or other partner may not require verbal comfort, just the kind, silent, supportive presence of the other. Observing and paying attention to each other’s needs is the first and most significant step in providing emotional support within marriage. Truly staying present with each other is the tried and tested formula in maintaining emotional comfort and security.
So it’s very important that couples preparing for marriage take the necessary timeout to discover each other’s emotional needs. This sense of sharing and intimacy will further strengthen the loving relationship.
Exercise: Share with each other how you feel emotionally about each other. Describe your emotional world to each other. What are the obstacles for you in discussing how you feel emotionally? How can you support each other in being more forthcoming emotionally?
For Your Information:
The Accord marriage preparation course, “Marriage – A Journey Not a Destination” offers couples the opportunity to reflect on their unique relationship and discuss topics which are important in their lives. Taking time to explore such topics, in private, can result in couples gaining a better understanding of themselves and their fiancé and this can have a very positive impact both on their relationship and future together.
For further information visit: http://www.accord.ie