Communication has been described as the gateway to love within loving relationships. But communication can be ineffective and superficial unless the exchange is really open and authentic. This requires courage – even within the most secure and committed relationships.

There is always an element of risk in exposing ourselves to really open and honest communication. What will she/he think of me? Should I not leave well enough alone? Am I exposing myself to unnecessary vulnerability? But in confronting our potential risks and vulnerabilities we are positioning ourselves to reach greater levels of understanding, acceptance, respect, trust and love within the eyes of our partner - see Pyramid of Communication diagram pictured above.

The Importance of Honesty

Open and honest communication always brings about greater levels of understanding. And as we move up the Communication Pyramid we know from behavioural studies that greater levels of understanding bring about higher levels of acceptance. Higher levels of acceptance promote greater levels of respect within the relationship. Reaching this level of respect triggers off greater levels of trust within relationships. And when we have attained a deep and meaningful level of trust that is necessary within loving relationships, we can experience and sustain shared love.

This is not a once in a lifetime journey but one that is repeated in loving relationships every day of our lives. Regular, open, honest and sometimes challenging communications are the gateway to good relationships in that communications and relationships are twin towers of inseparability. We communicate thoughts, feelings, insights and awarenesses to our partner and we also communicate values, attitudes and beliefs. We can communicate endless gems of open communication each day through our non-verbal exchanges such as nods, winks, facial gestures, smiles etc.

In the same manner that the flowers in our garden need watering to survive and thrive, loving relationships need nurturing through good communication. Some of the simplest forms of nurturing and good communication are words of praise, thanks, affirmation and appreciation. When was the last time within your relationship that you positively affirmed your partner?

Communication Exercise

Write a short note of appreciation to your partner acknowledging what she/he is bringing to your relationship on a daily basis, and affirm the importance of her/his presence in your life! Then share what you have written with your partner!