24th September 2014
Trusting One Another
A relationship that lacks trust is a relationship in difficulty. If trust is missing in a marriage or relationship it is impossible for the relationship to thrive.
Trust is an indispensable ingredient in building and maintaining a healthy marriage. Trusting one another is one of the most important elements of your relationship, and a crucial element of any lifetime commitment. Without trust, the quality of your relationship will deteriorate.
Why is trust important for you?
In addition to being fundamental to a sound relationship, trust plays a major role in your overall happiness. Trusting your husband or wife will enable you to feel safe, secure and supported. As marriage is a lifetime commitment, it is very important to know that you are committing to someone you can trust and confide your thoughts, feelings and worries to.
Why is trust important for your spouse?
Trust is important for your spouse for the same reasons trust is important for you – he/she needs to feel safe, happy and supported within your relationship. The Sacrament of Marriage is about creating a lifelong union, therefore it is important for both you and your spouse to share trust in order to support one another every step of the way.
When trust is absent
A lack of trust or a breach of trust is a very difficult experience in a relationship. It also has a negative impact on a relationship overall. Following a breach of trust spouses can become angry, suspicious and watchful of each other. However it is possible to build trust again and breaches of trust can repaired if both of you are willing to work together to restore trust between you.
However if lack of trust is long lasting it has the potential to damage a marriage /relationship, sometimes beyond repair. If a person has experienced a breach of trust in their family of origin or in a previous relationship that experience can make it difficult to trust their spouse.
In these circumstances, it is important to talk about your previous experiences with your spouse in order to help him/her understand your difficulty and help you to trust them.
Trust issues can also be rooted in a lack of confidence or a sense of inadequacy within yourself or a general lack of security. You might find it difficult to believe that your partner is interested in and committed to you alone. Doubts and suspicions are common in many relationships and the underlying issue can be fear.
It is important to talk about your fears with your spouse in order that he/she can understand you and can help to allay some of them.
Fears unspoken, manifesting themselves in doubts and suspicions can be a very difficult experience for your spouse who in turn may become frustrated and believe it is impossible to gain your trust and may even give up trying to earn it. Doubts and worries can fester inside you if you don’t express them.
Often, you will find that you have been worrying excessively and when you share your worries that can become clear to you. Talking openly about your feelings and worries can help lessen them and consequently enable you to be able to trust more.
Listening and talking to your spouse openly and honestly on a regular basis is an important way to stay deeply connected throughout the course of your marriage.
How to build and maintain trust
There are many ways you can build and maintain trust between you and your spouse. One of the most important ways is to be open, honest and transparent with your spouse in terms of your feelings, thoughts and actions.
Another way to build trust in your marriage is to be consistent, reliable and dependable. Doing simple things such as being punctual or running errands for your spouse are very easy ways to show them that you are there for them and that they can count on you.
Trust is a like anything that needs to be nurtured in order to thrive. It requires constant care and attention in order to remain healthy. Understanding that trust is one of the essential elements of your marriage is key to a healthy and supportive lifetime commitment.