Overreacting:

When we hear that someone is overreacting, we might have an image of a person exploding in a rage. However, overreaction can be the opposite of this. The person affected may become silent and withdraw. 

If we are a person who has a pattern of overreacting, we can be shocked by the way the event happened – maybe it seemed to come out of nowhere…

  “Our reaction takes place before we have registered and fully comprehended the specific factors that are producing our response.” (Siegel, 2010, 7)

The two types of response are called The Exploder and The Imploder:

The Exploder:
Cannot contain emotions and will let it all out.
Will tend to get agitated and loud.

The Imploder:
Becomes withdrawn and distant.
Will tend to put feelings aside.
Will try to push upsetting things out of their mind.

BOTH REPONSES ARE EQUALLY POWERFUL

It is no surprise that in recent times with job losses, reduced income, the pressures of home-schooling, severely restricted travel, the constant fear of becoming ill or of making someone ill, overseeing the care of elderly relatives, and a host of other worries and concerns, that more and more people are reporting that they are tending to overreact.

“Just like a young child is likely to have temper tantrums when he is tired and hungry, we adults are more easily irritated and prone to overreaction when we are under physical or emotional stress.” (Siegel, op. cit., 9)

We have never been under stress on the scale, and of the type, we are experiencing now… If worries and concerns are making sleep difficult then lack of sleep has effects on our brain chemistry that have been shown to make us more likely to overreact.

COUPLES & Covid-19 CHALLENGE:
If you recognise yourself in any of the descriptions above there are questions that you can answer for yourself about those times when you have overreacted…

Which type of overreaction – Exploder or Imploder – most closely matches the way I behave? Is there an issue that I react to most strongly? How do I feel after I have overreacted? How does my overreaction affect life in our home? Do children see and hear what I do? Have I been more prone to overreact since the spread of the Covid-19 pandemic?

Maybe you recognise your partner/spouse in the descriptions… Is this something you will need to talk about together, calmly, at a time when things are not so pressurised and tense? To access support now contact: 

ACCORD COVID-19 COUPLES & RELATIONSHIPS SUPPORT LINE :
      01 531 3331    /    028  9568 0151    /    01 905 9555

Ref: SIEGEL, J. P. (2010) Stop Overreacting: Effective Strategies for Calming Your Emotions. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications 

MG (2020-04-14)